I don’t like you because you’re too blunt. You’re rude and unsympathetic. You expect too much of others, without stopping to think if you could give them the same exact thing. But you are kind. You try your best to help others and when you don’t, I know you’re sorry. You make stupid decisions, knowing well that they are so. You sleep and talk too much. But you do so with the best intentions.
Life goes on. People come in and out of your life. Be positive because life is what you take from it.
Long, but pleasant.
Te dije que quieria acabar contigo. Espere. Te espere mucho tiempo. Y nada. Que hiciste? Fuiste a fumar con tus amigos. No me dijiste que te espere. Ni me dijiste que te perdone. No me hiciste nada. Tanto me quieres? Ese tanto? Ese tanto me quieres que vas a hacer nada? Ay, que poco me quierias.
I just want to tell him, “You’re great and cute and nice and smart and funny and I like you so much. I just can’t be that person that fits into the empty spaces. See, it’s like that old story about the man with the jar and how if we make the people we love, all the little things, there just won’t be enough room for them. We need to make the people we love the boulders, the icebergs, the greatest part of our lives. Because there’s always going to be something petty to fill in the empty slots. It’s just not gonna be me. I won’t let it be. So if you want this to work, like me enough to be your girlfriend, show it. It’s not terrible to have feelings. It’s okay to act like you like me around your bros and coworkers. But if you think so, then I’m sure you can find someone who agrees with you.”
I thought I was over reacting but I don’t anymore. ‘Cause if you’re going to be upset with me for waking you up to spend a few minutes with you before a busy day, then you clearly aren’t looking at things the same way I am.
(Source: gay-dee-raid)
If you like me for who I am, let’s roll,
‘cause I got places to go and people to meet.
I’m not sitting around, waiting for somebody to greet or greet me.
I’m not a frat guy or sister girl or whatever is it you all call yourselves.
‘Cause the shots you take at them, they’re below the belt.
I’ve heard of the tasks and the punishments.
The shit they need to learn, for a set of push ups.
And every time they push up from that ground, only to feel you push them down again,
Nah, I’m good. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.
I’ve had enough of that battle there with myself.
Enough to make me rip out my hair,
and not even care a bit about what you all have to say.
See, I just don’t fit in with you.
Your crowd,
you all bow down to this set of letters
like they define you, but the fact of it is, you all settled.
Your alpha beta theta zeta shit, is nowhere near what you could have been.
And I don’t mean to be disrespectful, because I know it was hard work,
and you chose it because it worked for you.
And just like I let you think you’re a badass, because you put your ass on the line for that set of letters there,
leave me alone because I know what I’ve had, and I know what I want.
I do not need set of letters on a sweater to tell me that.
Sometimes, I miss you.
Actually, most days, I miss you.
And its horrible because I don’t see you ever.
If I ask if I can come over
and get “yea not tonight,”
I don’t know if you’re waiting for me to put up a fight,
beg you to call me over,
wait until 3 am when you’re sure as hell not sober,
but that’s not me.
See, you don’t know but I don’t put up with shit
it the shoe fits, it fits,
but I’m not gonna wedge myself into anything or anywhere.
If we’re gonna go out, I want people to stare
like they’ve never seen anyone so happy and cute before.
Like were a fairytale come to life for the night.
But if this is it,
and I only ever see you for a bit between the hours of 12 and 3am,
you better get used to that lonely bed.
So I went to his stupid event and I was upset because we didn’t hang out at all and he didn’t pay attention to me and he kept walking off, going away from whatever group he was in when I approached it.
And I was upset at the end because by the end of the night, he hadn’t kissed me or introduced me to any of the guys. I was there, and he was there, and that was all.
Then I went over after and we talked and kissed and I asked him why it was so. I told him about Omar and how he asked if we were together and I explained that we were but he didn’t care about what I did and who with and it was upsetting. And I asked him why, and he said he didn’t know, that he trusted me. Which is great. Trust is great. But trust does not mean ignoring me while I’m around.
And I looked at Omar, saw his shock, and said what I thought. “We’re not going to last. I already know. But for now, I’m just along for the ride….He just doesn’t have the time for it.”
So that night, and then this morning, being there, just hanging out, I thought that maybe things would. Maybe we’d make it longer than I expected. But just now, on Friday night, when neither of us have school or things to do the next morning, I ask if he wants to hang out and he says “ya not tonight.”
So maybe my initial thoughts were right. I dunno. We have things to talk about.
I have the worst boyfriend ever.
He’s always busy and it’s just not fair because whenever he wants to have a girlfriend, I’m there. But when I need a boyfriend, he’s too busy.
Ugh. I’m gonna punch him in the face.
